“Feel it!” My assignment from my sponsor this week is to just feel things and to stop thinking so much about everything…. The wisdom from my yoga teacher today is to connect to the sensation of the moment and feel things…. So I guess the message from the Universe is ….. well, “crank up my feeling nature and turn down the incessant chatter and the overly analytical need of the organizational mind to categorize and label everything so that it fits snugly into some safe imaginary world that my ego would love to control. As I lay in Sivasana at the end of class today, I realized or remembered that thinking is most often a faculty of the ego and feeling a faculty of the soul. I guess I “thought” this but whatever…. I am claiming it as a breakthrough on the apparent growth that I am called into. I had already considered myself someone who spends more time identified with her soul and less time identified with her mind and therefore more identified with spirituality and less identified with humanity, more time identified with God and less time identified with ego BUT you can’t ignore it when the megaphone of life is on loud and it’s telling you something…. the same thing… every where you go. For me, today, this week, in the moment of now….I am guided to feel life. What am I feeling right now…. Blessed…. I am sitting in one of my favorite coffee shops on the planet watching the rain pitter patter off the table outside, there’s a little jazz playing, I feel the after glow from yoga and as I soften my mind and bring my attention into my heart, without a thing changing in my world, my gratitude increases. I feel present – like a sponge…. Soaking in the goodness. Ahhh, the benefits of yoga and sobriety… so sweet indeed. So, this week is about making the trek from my head to my heart and simply feeling everything I feel in every moment and ALLOWING all of it. My mom was grieving the loss of my sister’s dog this morning and she said “ I don’t know Ash…” I put my arm around her curious… “you don’t know what mom?” She said “I’m just so sad….” “Of course you are Mom, that is an appropriate and valid emotion for losing Boca who was like a grandchild to you….of course you feel sad…. This will pass but try not to resist this feeling…. It’s the other side of all of the joy that you feel when you feel joy.” It’s amazing how conditioned we are to believe that sadness is bad and how we would do almost anything to escape it. The only way through it is well, through it. If we don’t feel something as we go through it, it gets stuffed into our own being somewhere and saved for a later date. One of the habits of highly successful and happy people is that they “do it now.” It works the same for feelings, be in them now. I am committed to being present to my feelings and yours today…. They are all Good – even if they are disguised. Much Love.
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