I can be wrong sometimes, but I don’t mean in the sense of someone’s right and I’m wrong…. I don’t play that game. I just mean that having this human-suit on comes with times of missing the mark, of acting out of accordance with my highest self. One of my growing edges is the need to be perfect. In new thought we talk about everybody and everything being perfect and what we mean is that we are Spiritually perfect. No one and no thing can take away from our souls inherent perfection. Humanity though has it’s times of bright alignment when choices and actions are aligned with deep purpose and yet there are also times where we completely miss the mark, usually an action taken out of shear fear. We all have experiences like these. I think the point is admitting when we are wrong, and without even trying to justify the fear-based behavior we just say, “hey, I was wrong, I didn’t mean that, I apologize.” Growth is contingent upon our humility, our humility is a recognition that we are infentisimal in relation to the nature of God(Higher Power) which is Infinite, so for me to walk around thinking I know what’s best for you and or to act as if “I’ve got this thing handled,” well, you know I’m in trouble then because I have stopped tasting humility. I think that happens a lot when people first hop on this spiritual path…. God starts doing for us what we could not do for ourselves and starts speaking through us in ways that are “impressive” to others and we start taking credit for it, as if we did it. It’s so funny, because this attitude is the quickest way to slide right back into ego, a place, which expresses nothing sexy or appealing to the outside world. So, I guess the question is, how do we stay “right sized” in God and make sure that we “don’t let the gifts of the program take away the gifts of the program?” A starting place is the intention to stay in awe of the movement of life as well as to continue to forgive self and others and service. If you can think of any others, put them in a response comment and maybe we can get a discussion going. Tonight, I surrender to the process and allow God to be God and Ash to be Ash. I let it be. Much love to each of you.
The ego doesn't want us to " get better" or " work the program"... It wants us to either be too big/ be too big for our own good or to be small/think we are entirely unworthy. It "uses" moments if vulnerability to creep through the tiny crawl space of wiggle room it has- in this case through fear- to control us...to make us act in ways that are truly not us- hence one of the reasons for the nineth step. Do the trick to staying "right sized" in my opinion, is to pit God in the middle of everything...realizing that to "tame the ego" is not our job. For me, this may done through a pause, a moment of meditation to truly listen for my next step, or to enter into a room full of people that have been there and keep coming back. Take that ego. We are constantly evolving and growing and becoming more intune with our purely blissful nature, and to me that is what I am both in awe of and humiliated by... This process of becoming more. And this is also the way I keep the gifts of the program alive by remembering that I'm constantly evolving closer to my divine state-heaven. There is always more to be learned through painful moments of forgiveness to moments of busted out laughing with someone I love. I stay right sized through moments of reflection and quieting my ego by turning it over and working a lifelong program. Maybe sometimes I " miss the mark"....but, really, whose mark is it?
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