Saturday, November 12, 2011

Sobriety, sometimes a walk through the darkness


“No more struggle, no more strife, with my faith I see the Light.” – Ricki Byers Beckwith.  When we commit ourselves to a spiritual journey the road can get quite dark sometimes.  There almost always seems to be a “honeymoon” period where you literally feel like you are floating on a cloud, which is why in the program we call it “the pink cloud.” This is the feeling of being connected to your higher power. The real initiation on the path however is when it gets dark again and you begin to start walking through the valleys of your own shadowy layers of being.  This isn’t a path for the meek, this is a path for the mighty and though the mightiest may seem the most “human” as they walk the path, you can be sure that they are on it.  There is grand significance in walking through the pain, as many times at it takes and as many times as we are called into the darkness.  I almost consider it an honor when Spirit offers me yet another opportunity to face my shadow self for in it there is always the promise of healing - the revealing of my wholeness, of my spiritual perfection. This requires a series of choices…. of keeping what is truly important in perspective and not being swayed by my immediate reactivity.  I am not always good at this and being as stubborn as I am it has taken me many rounds of the same lesson presented to me in my life before I “get it.”  God this can be frustrating, especially because there have been times when I have had the tendency to go back and put my hand on the same hot burner – but hey, as we say “it takes what it takes.”  If you are experiencing the darkness, please know that there truly is light at the end of the tunnel.  Stay true and stick close to those who have walked the path before you.  Use the principles, go deep on your mat, you are walking through the darkness for a profound reason and all is being revealed in the perfect Divine time.  Don’t forget how good sobriety is.  Drinking and using as a mediocre supplement for a mediocre life.  When I was drinking, and when I think of drinking it is because there is some consideration in my mind of accepting a life that is less than what I came to live and somehow drinking seems like a good idea, and when I decide to live less than my full potential then of course I want to drink to forget that I am doing just that, living less than my potential.  Once you have really connected with the Infinite nature of God’s Love, Intelligence and Beauty, then substance really does feel like such a false substitute for what is good, for what is God.  The “high road” comes with it’s challenges but it’s rewards are, without a doubt, the only life that I am here to live.  I stay dedicated to my sobriety today and therefore the “high road.”

1 comment: