“ There are moments when you walk on the earth but still your feet don’t touch the earth – you are six inches above. Moments of joy, moments of prayer, moments of meditation, moments of celebration, moments of love…. And you are weightless, you are uplifted.”
-Osho
To lose oneself to the whole is the art of creativity. Creativity is the natural out picturing of life, that for me was stunted if not completely put out by my drinking and using. Like a robot I showed up for work to put money in someone else’s pocket, which actually became a great place to practice and fine tune spiritual tools such as being present and deepening. Knowing that there was nowhere that God isn’t I could get lost in finding God right where I was. I found it easiest to find God where people weren’t for the longest time. On ski patrol, I loved to do work/errands on my own for I would always take a moment deep in the Aspen trees to take a cleansing and unifying breathe and get lost in moments of feeling complete and total serenity. It is easy to find God in the mountains of Aspen. But when I forgot these things, work became a countdown… I was always counting down the hours until I got off. Most of the time I would fill up my mind and time with planning for the perfect happy hour or dinner, which I knew included good wine and beer. I was a slave at work and I was a slave when I got off. Thanks to sobriety I am free to live out the nature of my soul, which is creativity. I didn’t think that I was creative because I learned when I was little that I wasn’t creative in the traditional sense of the word. I was never very good with a paintbrush or clay. My art teacher in elementary school was constantly on my case and I developed a belief then that I wasn’t creative. I am so grateful to know now that my life is my tapestry. My creativity is expressed differently… a few avenues for my creativity are my word – spoken and written, praying, skiing, meditating, listening, traveling. Imagine that, these are the ways that my soul is creative in the world. What are your ways of creativity in this world? As I reflect back, these things are all of the aspects of myself that were stunted or arrested by my drinking. Nothing glowed quite as brightly in my drinking days…in fact, things began to get so dim that I was almost tricked into believing that I don’t love those things that are my very creative life force with my whole heart the way I feel so very connected to them today. Thank God I made it into the rooms because I am fulfilled and I thrive by being creative, even if it’s just a simple form of creativity. I am fulfilled by a day of skiing in the sun, by a delicious cup of good coffee, by raindrops splashing into a puddle, by the smell of Christmas trees and by sitting here writing this blog. Appreciating life in these ways is a part of being creativite, it’s an aspect of creativity called receptivity. Participating with presence is a powerful place to be in the world. Being grounded like a tree when the winds are blowing a hurricane through someone else’s world, being loved and grounded by another when the winds of life are ripping through the branches of my tree…. These are all the gifts of sobriety. I like when I get the feeling that my little me is out of my own way…. But this begs the question then, whose way is that little me yielding to and is creativity the action of my will or the free movement of something greater….. hmmmm…. Much Love.
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