Thursday, December 15, 2011

States of Grace


At some point in our Spiritual Practice we begin to get a sense of life propelling us forward… this is the tangible experience of God doing for us what we could not do for ourselves.  This is often a momentary or short lived experience but there comes a time when it all feels like this for periods of time – I know, I am currently living in what I consider – a state of Grace – Life is definitely doing for me what I could not do for myself and in a sense I feel something bigger than me, living my life.  It is important that I am very clear here that I, of myself, have nothing to do with this state of Grace.  I did nothing to deserve this for this is a birthright of every single individual alive.  I just followed my heart onto a spiritual path where I have been learning and growing and practicing for many years.  Sobriety though is what has unlocked all of my dedication and practice to this current “flow state” that I am feeling.  It’s quite exhilarating really…. It feels like gratitude and joy and awe.  I watch myself, as things get so good, looking for a loophole or the other shoe to drop and I have to remind myself “it’s ok Ash, it’s ok to feel good and to be doing really well, it’s ok to succeed.”  I love what Michael Beckwith says about surrender – he says that we not surrendering to something outside ourselves but to Divinity within that is connected profoundly to the same one that is in all life.  This place within us, this Divine Life and Light at the center of us individually though is a unique gift of purpose granted to each one of us.  We are surrendering in essence to live the lives that we were meant to live.  I don’t know what that life is for anyone else….. however it is very identifiable in those who are in full expression of themselves, of those who are in full tune with the Divine swing of things….. they are the ones doing triple back-flips off an X-Games jump, singing like Adele, living like Katy Perry, being philanthropists and world activists like Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt.  These individuals and so many more have unleashed the creative fire within them.  One thing that I know of this creative fire is that it is sourced from something much bigger than ourselves and yet it burns right there at the center of us.  But, because it sourced by Life we have exponentially more energy when we have activated the God-seed within.  The body shimmers with the glowing light of Truth and life unfolds with an ease that is not available when we are in our own will.  Let me be clear again – I fully believe that I chose each and every struggle that I have had to grow, develop and unfold…. to become the woman I am today.  I fully believe that I chose gut-wrenching, heart breaking experiences to get to the good stuff of life, to get to the sweet spot.  This is not to say that you can’t arrive at the juicy goods without hardship but, for me, that’s what it took.  I believe I chose to be an alcoholic that I might understand the depths of pain and therefore feel great joy and reward in community and life again.  I give thanks to the life force that has lived as every individual and situation which has played out in my life, for all of it has brought me to this moment of Grace.  I give thanks and I stand anchored in Love and an awareness that these states are available to each and every one of you….. simply take one more step forward today my friend.

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