Two Parts to Step Two.....

Peaceful, inspired and in serious need of yoga class after a double eject out of my ski’s while zipping down the mountain at mach 12 yesterday.  Due to the flat light I didn’t see the giant divit which when I cam barreling through, stripped me of my ski’s.  My humerus and deep in my upper right arm are aching, but like a kid again I have a tinge of pride for surviving an accident like this.  After a few moments of lying in the snow and the time it took to re-gain a somewhat normal breathing pattern, a belly roar came from the center of the Universe and up through my smile.  Beginners mind and feeling humbled and yet safe is such a sweet spot.  I accept mis-haps like these where I am simply “going for it” in life and “stuff happens.”  This is much unlike the crazy succession of misnomers that used to occur in my using days.  I wouldn’t go ski a lap back straight over that same divit knowing that was there – because, well, that would be insane.  Hmmm, this brings me to insanity a very crucial component of the second step.  For most, the second step(which is came to believe in a power greater than ourselves that could restore us to sanity) is about coming to believe in a power greater than ourselves, well as a spiritual life coach and a minister in the making accepting that there is something Infinitely greater than I, was not the issue.  Recognizing the insnity however, was.  I metaphorically skid through the same divit only to have a worse “double eject” every single time, hurting myself more, every single time.  When I knew that drinking would lead me to drugs through consistent painful research, I would drink again and again I would do drugs and again I would feel the incrompehensible shame, demoralization, degradation, downfall and just when I would crawl out of the hole that I dug so well with my using I would almost systematically ski straight for the substance divit.  This is my definition of insanity for myself and my own life and thank God for today I have a beautiful reprieve from the insanity of my disease which lies to me and tells me that it would somehow be different.  I am sane today and it works brilliantly.

I am blessed beyond imaginings with beautiful friends, prosperity, opportunity, increasing clarity, love, accountability, joy, freedom and an overall sense of well-being.  Stick with your sobriety, examine with me this morning the insanity of our behavior patterns when we drink.  If this doesn’t clarify the goodness of our choice to be sober today, I’m not sure what will J  So much love and joy to you this day as you embark on another beautiful day of sobriety.