Saturday, March 31, 2012

Fundamental Changes of The Paradigm Shift

I wake with a light heart and extreme love and hope in and as my perspective.  I feel connected to my vision again.  You see, for a couple of days I drifted into some darkness and therefore some fatigue.  I have come to believe this was and is the result of attempting to take my will back…. an attempt to drive the bus again.  As I wake up more to my True, Spiritual Nature I am increasingly sensitive, aware of and in-tune with my body – my physical body but more importantly, my energetic body.  I crave the quiet or the soft hum of music because I really want to know what is going on with me, more than ever before. I desire the attunement and alignment that is so subtle and intricate and can only come from the silence and dedication to know myself.  I spent so much time running from who I was and what I was truly feeling that it took some disciplined effort to be with myself – to be with God, alone – for a while.  I have now crossed that threshold where that is the time that I crave the most and my discipline has truly become my “bliscipline(Michael Beckwith).”

This morning I am left pondering the paradigm shift of global enlightenment that is happening now and as I continue to ponder the fundamental changes that are unfolding into our existence I wonder about things like desire and pride.  I wonder how our desire for quick and immediately gratifying “fixes” fits into the paradigm.  I wonder how our desire for a drink, for sex, for outside entertainment all play into the new paradigm.  I wonder what balance of time will be spent within and how that affects life lived from the inside out. 

For now, as I head into a beautiful day filled with yoga and like-minded people I will observe with the God-self within me.  I will observe and play from a place of wholeness and love as I deepen my dance with Spirit.  Today is a dance of Love.  Blessings.

Thursday, March 29, 2012

The Click of Alignment

I had a dream that I was with someone I love dearly and we were on the banks of a gentle, flowing, river.  We realized that the water was shallow and that we could sit in it and slide down this natural water slide.  As I listened to an inspired speaker last night I was reminded of this imagery given to me by the Universe when she said that you commit yourself to the practice and the principles for so long with a vision that draws you forward until there is that moment where that Infinite, Loving "something" takes over.  I feel like before this moment, we are “acting as if” based on the experience of others.  But it is truly a miracle when the tides of life take you and with such sweet ease, everything unfolds in perfection – maybe not the way you had pictured it but better than you could have imagined it would feel.  There is a “click” of alignment that occurs, and in fact there are infinite “clicks” along our evolutionary journey.  Think back to a time when you just soared inside and evertying in your world felt as if it was Divinely orchestrated for your good…. It could be a moment or a day or a month or a year when you showed up for life and it just seemed to go your way.  This is what we are setting ourselves up for through our sobriety and our practices – “the click.”  That being said it is also important to know that through our consistency of our practices when life offers us challenges which are really just opportunities for growth we see them as that and we are grounded in an empowered state which is also an evolutionary and expanding quality as we walk the path.  The high’s may not be quite as high and the lows aren’t quite is low but the  undertone and overtone of it all has become one of Trust and Faith for me.  I seek first my relationship with God through the practices(prayer, meditation, service, giving, creating, writing) and all else is indeed added.  I remember in sweet gratitude that everything that I could possibly need is right here where I am.  I am accessing the tools in my spiritual tool kit much faster and I am maturing into a place where each time I walk into “an opportunity” I know I am not alone and that this too shall pass.  These are the gifts that perhaps I would not have listed as my top ten things I wanted on the day I consciously began my spiritual journey as well as my sobriety journey but I value this gift as much as anything else I have ever desired.  Much Love and an awareness that you are connected and sourced by Love Itself.

Monday, March 26, 2012

Like A Sunflower, I dedicate myself to the Sunlight of the Spirit

“The sunflower endures as seeing the sun though the sun’s glowing face is nightly obscured by a dark globe’s eight thousand miles of thickness.  It squeezes in the sun’s hot beams with ecstatic adoration, till living seeds fall from its yellow bosom and other sunflowers spring up and fill the garden patch with sunflowers.” Emma Cutis Hopkins

Am I like the sunflower which endures to see the Truth of all life?  My favorite flower has always been the sunflower and as I read this quote in the last chapter of a book that I have been reading for almost two years now, my heart almost leapt from my chest.  It is such a perfect revelation for that which I have been growing with and working through of late.  One of the things that I adopted from my father and one of those things that is stoked by alcoholism or any ism of the ego was and has been my judgment of others.  After the honey-moon period of a new friendship or relationship of any kind I find myself slipping into that uncomfortable place of judgment and comparison.  My aim is to see as God sees and in all actuality to perceive with the most expansive God eye that I can possibly perceive – all of life.  I love the quote above because during each twenty four hour period the sunflower is challenged to see through “the globe’s eith thousand miles of thickness” to see only Truth…. To see that which is gives it life and only that which gives it life.  As the sun rises, “it squeezes the sun’s hot beams with ecstatic adoration” this to me indicates the sun’s ecstasy or gratitude for the natural process and evolution of it’s life on a daily basis.  Isn’t it true that gratitude often feels like ecstasy…. True gratitude?  Doesn’t it feel like ecstacy?  Mmmm  and as it so loves and is focused on It’s source of growth and so naturally aligns with and is so grateful to be a part of the natural evolution of it’s sunflower self It can’t help but have “living seeds fall from its yellow bosom and other sunflowers spring up and fill the garden patch with more (exquisitely beautiful ) sunflowers.   This I think is the nature of the game, the original intent.  We are blessed with such a dynamic nature and yet the evolution and unfoldment of life is so exquisite, awe-inspiring and perfect on it’s own that it almost seems as simple as boiling it down into the Principle of seek first your source and then shower the fullness of yourself into the garden of life watching as it springs up all around you in sweet perfection.  This I think is like a healthy sponsorship or mentorship family.  Blessings of Love and Light.

Sunday, March 25, 2012

Awareness leads to Choice leads to Opening

So it is that our lives unfold with the Brilliance and Magnificence that we allow.  We are the gracious receivers of a life that gives and gives and gives itself to us.  IT can only give to us what It can give through us.  By this I mean that we are responsible for the practice of opening ourselves and therefore making ourselves available to as much good as we can possibly handle.  Yoga was a brilliant experience this morning, an experience that I had because I showed up.  I showed up because my roommates had this idea to start their Sunday morning with a yoga class at a beautiful studio right on the river.  They decided not to go at the last minute but I went anyway.  I showed up for my opening and my good.  I showed up for my discipline and my goals of health, wholeness and harmony.  It’s so easy to get into a pattern of not showing up, of isolation and therefore desolation.  That’s where my dis-ease took me and quite frankly, I am not sober to live a mediocre life.  I am sober to continue with my discipline which breeds bliss and freedom like I have never felt before.  Through my practice I open the front of my heart and the back of my heart and my hips and my inner eye and my inner ear and slowly, slowly I begin to know myself more intimately and I begin to “be onto myself” when I am out of alignment and begin to identify and understand where I am coming from when I say things or take certain actions.  From this place of awareness I begin to know what to release and what to keep and I begin to be more open and more available to Divinity.  You see, through some mighty challenges over the last few days, my ego kicked up something nasty and I found myself becoming increasingly closed off and although as the challenge increases, I increased my spiritual practice, I still found myself identifying with my ego and my need for things to be perfect and ultimately to be completely honest I found myself less than accepting of people that I deeply care for.  This was an old familiar feeling and although there are healthy boundaries available here there is never a need for me to judge another and take their inventory.  I have stepped back now and recognized an area for growth and healing and boldly say thank you for revealing something within me that needs healing.  I now have something beautiful to work on now.  Into consciousness I go to forgive and release these old ways that are definitely not serving me or anyone else.  I am dedicated to opening and getting out of my own way.  I yield to Spirit.

Thursday, March 22, 2012

My Choices Now are in Harmony With My Longterm Goals

There is a tiny pit in my stomach as I embark upon this day.  This is one of those times in my life where I have only been given 50 yards of light on my pathway.  By this I mean that there are some challenges/opportunities that are ever so present today.  Sometimes I have crystal clear clarity for miles.  But, as it says on pages 86 and 87 of the Big Book, we can trust the intuitive thought or decision.  What I realize this morning is that I may need to walk right up to the moment before I receive that clarity.  I am intending to stay as neutral as possible and therefore available to this intuitive thought or inspiration.  If I decide on a path or on who I am right this moment then I may miss the “high road.”  My sense about my day is that I need to be flexible and neutral and turned on to my intuitive perceptions in order to navigate these challenges with the utmost integrity.  It is important that I am clear that my integrity is an alignment with my soul, with God, with Truth.  I am reminding myself in this moment of the big picture of my life and although my intention is to be fully present in each and every moment, as challenging as they may be, also to remember my long term goals and aspirations and to make sure that I am not choosing a reaction or desire in the moment which is out of alignment with my long term goals.  I believe in a Universe which would never set me up in a trick situation where there wasn’t the perfect opportunity for harmony and integrity between a choice that I am making in the moment being fully aligned with my long term goals.  So, here I go, off into a day of adventure and perhaps some challenges.  Before the day even begins I chose harmony, serenity and perfect alignment with the High and holy idea of my life.  I choose compassion for all that I encounter and I bless each person in this situation, knowing that they too are seeking happiness and doing their best to achieve it.  I am supported and lifted by my practice, my intention, my high thoughts and continuous choice to live my faith.  All is well and unfolding as it should.  Blessings Friends.

Wednesday, March 21, 2012

True Faith is Like Sweet Curiosity

True faith is like a sweet curiosity especially when you are walking up to something that you are sure you really want.  This week is a huge faith walk for me as I walk up to the edge of some things that I have been attending for a while but as Brian Tracy(our companies goal coach) says, you can’t have opposing goals.  I think we forget this sometimes when we find ourselves in deep disappointment over something that did or didn’t occur.  I think that what is most often occurring in this situation is that there is a deeper goal being achieved.  That there is a deeper alignment occurring with our purpose or our growth in some way.  I often look at situations where I thought I was being denied or rejected and trace it forward sometimes just a day or two and realize that there was something so much better waiting for me than what I had in mind.   It’s not to say that we don’t set goals and have strong intentions but the final prayer and the deepest prayer is, for me, “Thy Will Be Done.”  Boy I have grown into this Principle over time.  As an “ageless wisdom, new thought spiritualist” I was sure that I was in control of my destiny, with my mind.  What I have realized is that YES we have access to this incredible spiritual laws and we are indeed epi-centers of creation if we so chose.  However I have come to believe that there is that thing which is Omnipotent(all powerful), Omnipresent(every-where present) and Omniscient(all knowing), that may just have a better idea with It’s Infinite Intelligence and all J of what I am really going for.  You see, as a human and as an addict, I think sometimes I would be willing to trade what I want in the moment for what I want in the long run and sometimes the Universe has allowed me exactly that experience.  But sometimes, especially when I am really in-line with my good and my goals, the Universe denies me that thing that I think I want in the moment.  Earlier in my evolution I used to take this personally and think that I wasn’t creating well enough or hadn’t done enough work or it was my fault somehow.  Ahhh, but now you see, I realize that I am dancing with eternity and sometimes it takes the lead.  Praise everything and find some sweet curiosity with it all.  Love on your journey today.

Tuesday, March 20, 2012

Now that your Sober, Go For It

As I write my fourth step I am beginning to see the patterns in the character traits which continue to arise when I enter fear.  So, as I become really aware of my growing edges(character defects) I wonder and begin to taste what is beneath them… the true me.  As I do this work and stay true to the unwaivering Truth about myself and others I find myself once again beginning to taste eternity.  I can feel the world in my cells.  I feel the vision for my life gently drawing me forward and perhaps now more than ever before do I feel so in the flow... so on track.  This is not to say that life doesn’t challenge me tremendously at times – it does!  However, it is my response to the challenges that is so fundamentally different – this is the gift of all of my spiritual practice which is built upon the bedrock of my sobriety.  I guess the God Qualities, the strengths of God that are naturally expressed in me are Integrity, Balance and Freedom.  I feel an Integrity with my soul, with my life purpose, like never before.  I feel alive and aligned and energized – these are qualities which assure you that you are on track.  I feel Balance in the form of an overall feeling of restedness and ease in my transitions from work to play and vice versa.  I feel Free to be fully me, to live my dream to evolve forward because I am balanced and in integrity.  These are the qualities of life which are cultivated in, through and as my life through my sobriety.   

I write about this because I think we often trade one addiction or excessiveness for another when we get sober.  But I urge you to continue evolving.  Don’t rest on the laurels of just feeling “pretty good” because you haven’t had substances in your body for however long.  What is that thing that you have always wanted to do… that thing that you talked about from the bar stool or wrote about in your journal.  First, be honest with yourself in assessing the balance and freedom you feel in your life.  Once these are in place you are free to be who you came to the planet to be.  Give yourself the chance and the time to cultivate your creativity.  It may not happen overnight – being the best photographer on the planet, or a grammy award winning actor or Picaso, but begin your journey…. Just being on the journey is glorious in and of itself.  I find so many people who love to talk about who they’d love to be, which is a fantastic first step, but I’d love to see more people just being that and allowing the actions to speak for themselves. 

Be careful then not to become that which you think you are.  By this I mean, try to remember that forms come and go but that you are always and eternally the essence of the great spirit, taking on different forms.  Try not to corner yourself into the trap of “knowing yourself too well.”  Yes, become intimate with who you are and find your fullest expression in the world but do not become an identity that you were only ever meant to take on for a period of time because you might miss the next natural transition into the next stage of your evolution.  Be flexible and sweet with yourself as you grow, develop and unfold but definitely go for it.  Pick up that camera and start shooting, that paintbrush and paint something-anything or head to that drama class and boldly dive in.  We didn’t get sober to hang out smoking outside of meetings for the rest of our lives.  Yes, we will always participate in our own health through attending meetings and working our steps for the rest of our lives.  But take that next step.  Today I offer that you might explore that within yourself.  Blessings of Love.

Monday, March 19, 2012

Prayer Makes Us Available

Sitting in a coffee shop waiting for a friend, as she embarks upon her “compassion project,” – we just got out of a spectacular meeting on prayer.  Does life get any better than this?!  Over the past week I have upped my meetings and my focus on my sobriety as I walk the pathway of my dreams unfolding.  Now more than ever do I feel the importance of anchoring into my sobriety – after all it’s how I got to where I am and therefore I am more grateful than ever for the very gift of sobriety. 

This week I had the opportunity to take a meeting into the ICU at The Aspen Valley Hospital for a guy in our fellowship who hit a tree while skiing a few days ago.  We read out of the big book and shared, just as we would at a meeting.  It was deepening, expansive and overall – such a gift.  I had this moment where I looked around at the faces of those people who showed up at our friend’s bedside and realized that I would not want to give “this” up for anything, including a drink.  I also had a moment of realization that when I had a group of people surrounding my bed some ten months earlier as I was in the grip of my disease, I made a promise to myself and had the feeling that I couldn’t wait to be sober enough, clean enough, available enough to be the bedside of another.  My, how the seasons turn and how grateful I am to be available to the others, to the program and to life at large.  I’m finding that availability is a heavenly state of consciousness.

Our topic on prayer struck a chord with me as my dedication to prayer over the years has evolved so much.  I appreciated someone’s comments on how there is no wrong way to pray.  I appreciated the comments in regards to the evolution of prayer from the “drive by prayers” consisting of prayer for oneself to the prayer from that deep place praying to know God’s will and to carry that out and, people’s experience with prayer on everything in between.  The important part is that we pray in whatever our own way may be.   

This life in sobriety, truly is so rich.  Dive in.  Much Love 

Thursday, March 15, 2012

Take Your Power Back By Forgiving

“Immediately people do stop hurting our feelings and sink into flatness when we take to ourselves the power we gave to hurt us.  Immediately ignorance lets go and genius of a new order is ours when we take back the harming power we gave to ignorance.” – Emma Curtis Hopkis, High Mysticism P. 300

As I work on the fourth step I am guided in the ways of clearing resentments which are basically little “power giver away’ers.”  When I resent somebody or something I am essentially giving my power away.  The business of the fourth step and of forgiveness is about becoming un-entangled in the lines of resentments to other individuals.  It is often said that forgiveness is not about “letting another off the hook.”  Rather it is letting ourselves off the hook.  Spirituality for me is about what I am turned toward, what I am identified with.  What I mean by this is, am I turned downward toward a resentment, toward a “right and wrong” game, toward jealousy, toward what is fair, toward comparison OR am I turned toward God, recognizing that there is only ONE power and ONE presence that knows nothing of being “fair” or “right” or “righteous” but only that we are ALL it’s expression and that It is so DYNAMIC that it is tailoring the perfect experience for each of us and our good ALL at the exact same time.  Am I turned toward the same Intelligence that knows to beat my heart twelve times per minute without me having a single thought about it.  Am I turned toward that which has loved me so deeply and so unconditionally through so many people in my life.   Releasing those who I feel in conflict by asking what Michael Beckwith often referes to as the “right questions.”  What is seeking to emerge through me in this situation.  It may be as simple as forgiveness.  It may be strength or empowerment or light…. But the answer always has something to do with a greater you.  Each and every spiritual program that I know has a huge foundational component to do with identifying and forgiving our resentments.  This is because it is absolutely crucial to the full evolution, development and unleashing of our soul.  I am grateful to be spending so much time on my fourth step and to have the Universe not so co-incidentally informing me of the principles and practices surrounding forgiveness.  The one mentioned by Emma Curtis Hopkins is one of simply claiming and stating that “this person does not have the power to offend or hurt me, this resentment is forgiven and I am growing in the ways that God would have me grow.  Thank you teacher for the opportunity to be more of who I truly am.  I am strength as a result, I am insight as a result, I am power as a result….. I Am and you are free to go on your merry way and be more of who you are too.  There is such power in forgiveness.  Light and Love on your journey today.

Thursday, March 8, 2012

Hold the Vision Loosely

A mentor of mine introduced the idea of holding a vision “as loosely as possible….giving it ALL to God.”  I meditated upon this idea this morning.  I had a beautiful image of holding the vision in my outstretched hands allowing the winds and tides and lulls of life to have their way with the vision.  My participation is gently holding the vision, being a vessel of the vision but remembering never to be the “director” of the vision for my life, never attempting to control the vision.  When I get in situations where my ego wants to control things so badly, I first intend to release the need to control and do my best to work with the opportunity to grow from control to surrender but, if after a while I am not able to surrender, I remove myself from the situation all together for the highest good of all.  If however I have grown and developed to the point where I can recognize my desire to direct or control and I can successfully identify and release my ego from the driver seat and step into surrender than I have truly found a sweet spot in my evolution and get to soar in tandem with Spirit in the driver seat.  As I continue to participate in the unfoldment of that which I have been eating, sleeping and dreaming of for years, I am reminded now to stay out of my own way and allow the vision to continue to inform me.  I remind myself to stay in the embrace of the mystery and to release that which does not serve the highest vision for my life.  It is ok to grieve those things and yet stay the course, being moved forward…. Being pulled by the vision.  Michael Beckwith says that “pain pushes until vision pulls.”  Vision is drawing me forth like a guide dressed as a little girl in a flowing dress laughing and playing as she guides me through the expansive garden of my life, dodging and drifting through the old tree’s and the meadows… I follow because I feel her safety and her truth…. I feel and know that she is the guide from within me.  I wake with the vision spilling images from my heart through my mind and I am ignited and inspired by that which I can feel and see inside of me and am only just now beginning to see taking shape in the world we refer to as “reality.”  My commitment is to treasure it for the precious life that it is free from my influence.  I love and let love have it’s way with me today.

Wednesday, March 7, 2012

Big Dreams, Big Challenges, Big Opportunities for Growth

The challenge with having BIG dreams is that there can come BIG doubts and other forms of fear.  I am in the midst of completing my application for a masters in ministerial studies, the application to launch the spiritual community I have been dreaming of for years and working on my fourth step.  You betchya that my ego is kicking up a fight, right now.  I have had a small case of the “I’m not good enough’s,”  and when friends are involved in business it is easy to take things personally.  Also, in the midst of my addiction and through some very interesting things that occurred when I was growing up, I threw some financial hurdles on my path that I am now encountering….interesting timing, very interesting timing.   My choice is to be empowered and to activate my faith knowing with all of me that I am being pulled by a vision that is bigger than me, that is bigger than any financial issue, bigger than any single relationship and therefore just like the entire oak tree is in it’s seed so too is everything that could possibly be needed for the full fruition of the vision of my ministry, my life and my church.  I am grateful for my sobriety, yoga and the totality of my spiritual practices for, as a result I am more identified with my Truth than with my ego.  Like my disease, I am able to tag and flag my ego and my disease when it starts talking and the monkey mind begins to chatter in my head “oops, guess this isn’t the right time, or the right place… why don’t you move somewhere tropical and start all over again…. It will feel so fresh and so good.”  This is where the foot work is required of me and the time when my spiritual practice turns from maintenance to full throttle “treat and move your feet”, mode.  Nope ego, nope disease, we are not checking out and we are not running away.  When the going gets tough I am going to continue to remind my challenge, my ego, my disease how big my God is.  I am keeping up with my forgiveness practice that I don’t get tangled up in some old resentment or fresh one at that and forget to stay on the High Road of the Divine Idea for my life.  Catch and release baby – feel that resentment, forgive that resentment, keep my eye on God, the One, my Dream, the Vision that is pulling me and take another step forward.   It won’t be long until I feel like I am flying again but for now I am on the ground doing the footwork and the one thing about my dream is, it is un-waivering.  I am grateful for those who have stayed the course….those who have continued to believe in the vision, in me and have not left my side.  I am grateful too for those who have joined my journey, even for a portion of time.  I chose not to take personally those who would really love to be more on this journey than they are actually able to be on the journey.  I keep my eye on the Truth and let all of the rest go.  These are the choices that are available to me in sobriety and are strengthened ten fold through my other practices.  I am at choice to stay on the high road today.  I will.  Blessings of Love and Light.

Monday, March 5, 2012

Development Requires Dedication to Your Flow

An artist trusts their flow.  A minister trusts her flow.  A sober woman trusts her flow.  “Thy kingdom come.  thy Will be done.”  Sometimes the flow seems to be rushing forward perfectly in our direction, sometimes we feel the calm nature of life like a stream.  It’s all God.  These words that come through me are the flow of God through me. They are my song.  My gift.  What is your gift today?  Have you had the chance to relax back into the flow?  Have you had the chance to find your vibration?  Have you had the chance to find your truth?  Underneath the business of this fast paced world we live in, have you had a chance to greet yourself today?  Have you taken the time to ask yourself…. Who am I?  What am I about?  What energy am I bringing to the world today?  We are all energy…. Science proves it…. Mostly space and a whole lot of atoms but ultimately it is all vibrating energy.  Science is now proving that our cells are affected by our thoughts and intentions.  I used to tell my patients in the emergency medicine work that I did, to participate in their own healing right there in the back of my ambulance by thinking positively about their health and their outcome.  It’s an extremely fundamental principle of spirituality and yet sometimes it’s so perfect and so simple.  We often talk in the rooms about things being simple but not easy.  Easy comes more often when we are spiritually fit when like working out we have a consistent program, which keeps us in the flow.  Yet, when things seem really challenging you can always throw down a little spiritual practice which I will call “expect the best.”  Expect the best, expect the flow, expect the light, expect your creativity, expect the best in others.  Expect the flow.  Dedicate yourself to knowing it, to finding it, to feeling it.  It is the very essence of the Glory of God through us.  NOW is the moment.  This is the time for the next greatest stage of your evolution.  Live it.  Be It.  Release your life energy.  Heaven is not some far off place, “it is a state of consciousness.”  To find your flow is to be in the moment fully trusting.  But you can’t possibly expect to find your flow if your so busy being in everyone elses.  Step out of the business.  Rise above race consciousness and discover that place within you which is unique to you.  That life energy which only you can release.  Like an artist or a musician you will develop over time.  But you can never reach your masterpiece if you are not committed to practicing being you, more fully, each day.  Much Love and Happy Inward Travels.

Saturday, March 3, 2012

Stabilizing then Harmonizing

“Light is the freest process of nature.  You can not bottle it up, and if you hide a flame under a bushel, it burns the bushel and makes an even greater light!”  Emma Curtis Hopkins

I love the idea of the great confinement or bottling of our light's un-sustainability and in actuality it's power to give more to our light itself.  It’s the same meaning as if it doesn’t kill us it makes us stronger.  Being stronger is in essence a brightening of our inner flame.  Our inner Light can only be bottled for so long before it’s nature will prevail and it will be free, as implied in the beautiful quote above.  I think that’s why our soul choses as much challenge as we can take.  Even death is the soul’s way of being it’s most natural state – free.  In this life I have had many bushels over my flame, many the result of addiction and some, like my father and brother’s transitions were the bushels that become my teachers’ and the very thing that strengthened my inner fire and ultimately the essence of the unleashed freedom that I feel in my soul and in every area of my life.  The world reflects in my life today, the softness that I have developed in my being through my spiritual practices, my sobriety, my yoga and my life.  Every area of my life is stabilizing with such sweetness and I am lifted on the wings of that which is so much greater than I.  Every relationship in my life is improving and is marked by harmony, deepening and an overall sense of joy.  I am so grateful that my job is something that I love participating in.  There is a synergy happening in and of the worlds of my life that is really quite awe-inspiring.  The miracles (defined as Divine intervention) seem to be occurring left and right and the only thing that gets in the way of that, is me.  I’m learning though through my practices to stay out of my own way, more and more.  I’m learning that my growing edges are patience and total honesty and integrity with my inner fire and all of that which I relate with in the world.  I see Light and Luminosity everywhere and I feel the magnitude of harmony emerging and unleashing as the great Oneness and Unity of Life.  This stuff is so worth the journey.  Keep up the inner work and let your truest nature be – be free.  life is good.  I activate love and truth in you with the very acknowledgement of It’s existence.  

Thursday, March 1, 2012

How Rigorous is my Honesty

I did some really tough work on my fourth step this week and last night I shared it “all” with my sponsor.  She was so open and non-judgmental about what I had feared sharing which made the process as shameless as possible.  I know now that it is absolutely vital that I completely clear everything in my consciousness and lay it all on the table in order that not only I stay sober, but that I am the most available to God’s idea of my life as a wisdom teacher, as a healer, as a student and as a yogi.  As challenging as it can be to really get down to the nitty gritty and admit our growing edges, it is the crux of the program.  It is the place where most people hold back.  It is the reason our hips are so tight in yoga and why pigeon pose can bring up so much emotion.  We often store those things that we would like to keep in our closet forever, in our hips.  Over the past two years I have developed a relationship with my sponsor to the point where last night I was courageous enough and trusted her enough to bring these skeletons out of my closet.  One of my growing edges is rigorous honesty.  I have considered myself a pretty honest person since the age of 17 when I promised myself from the depths of my soul to always be honest but somewhere along the way my fear of financial insecurity and my spiritual pride got in the way and my agreement with myself to be overtly honesty developed some very sneaky loopholes.  There is something so powerful about sharing this…. I can feel an opening in my heart and a deepening in my soul.  My sponsor reflected through her love and non-judgment how God sees me and through her eyes I begin a deeper practice of self-love and self-forgiveness.  I hope that my experience inspires you to share that much more honestly with someone you trust about those things that you thought you would never share.  The deeper you dig and he more honest you become the more Light is revealed through you, at least this is what I have found.  Blessings of Love.