Sunday, March 25, 2012

Awareness leads to Choice leads to Opening


So it is that our lives unfold with the Brilliance and Magnificence that we allow.  We are the gracious receivers of a life that gives and gives and gives itself to us.  IT can only give to us what It can give through us.  By this I mean that we are responsible for the practice of opening ourselves and therefore making ourselves available to as much good as we can possibly handle.  Yoga was a brilliant experience this morning, an experience that I had because I showed up.  I showed up because my roommates had this idea to start their Sunday morning with a yoga class at a beautiful studio right on the river.  They decided not to go at the last minute but I went anyway.  I showed up for my opening and my good.  I showed up for my discipline and my goals of health, wholeness and harmony.  It’s so easy to get into a pattern of not showing up, of isolation and therefore desolation.  That’s where my dis-ease took me and quite frankly, I am not sober to live a mediocre life.  I am sober to continue with my discipline which breeds bliss and freedom like I have never felt before.  Through my practice I open the front of my heart and the back of my heart and my hips and my inner eye and my inner ear and slowly, slowly I begin to know myself more intimately and I begin to “be onto myself” when I am out of alignment and begin to identify and understand where I am coming from when I say things or take certain actions.  From this place of awareness I begin to know what to release and what to keep and I begin to be more open and more available to Divinity.  You see, through some mighty challenges over the last few days, my ego kicked up something nasty and I found myself becoming increasingly closed off and although as the challenge increases, I increased my spiritual practice, I still found myself identifying with my ego and my need for things to be perfect and ultimately to be completely honest I found myself less than accepting of people that I deeply care for.  This was an old familiar feeling and although there are healthy boundaries available here there is never a need for me to judge another and take their inventory.  I have stepped back now and recognized an area for growth and healing and boldly say thank you for revealing something within me that needs healing.  I now have something beautiful to work on now.  Into consciousness I go to forgive and release these old ways that are definitely not serving me or anyone else.  I am dedicated to opening and getting out of my own way.  I yield to Spirit.

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