My mental bodies and my physical body are opening in the
wake of my discipline and it is the dawn of a new day. It is in perfect alignment with the
gorgeous morning sunshine resting on the brick buildings of old town Ballard,
one of my favorite neighborhoods in Seattle. Seattle’s famous coffee is brewing and the gentle hum of a
Saturday morning has begun. There
is rich spiritual community here in Seattle and for the next few weeks I am
diving deep into this ocean of rich spirituality and like a sponge I am soaking
up as much as I possibly can before I head home. I feel myself in alignment with my intention to fill up and
spill over with goodness into the world.
It seemed doubtful to my surface mind during the first few days that I
was here that this could hardly be what was occurring but I reminded myself of
the dark night that often comes before the greatest dawn and today…yet another
great dawn of my existence… the
greatest? I would hardly call it
that because I know that my soul is infinite and saying things like the
greatest or the best is a meak attempt by my ego to limit me from the next
greatest dynamic experience of richness that my journey has to offer. 4 honest days away from my one year
sobriety birthday and I feel my disease trying to kick me off the track. One year has some type of milestone for
me for sure….last time it was the milestone which for me meant that I was good
to drink again… hahahaha…I hear my angels laughing because everyone but me knew
this was some type of new heights that my insanity had taken me. So, when my sponsor asked me how I was
feeling about approaching a year… I replied “not nearly excited without the
plan to drink.” I guess this is
bitter sweet because for an alcoholic who’s disease loves to CELEBRATE,
celebrating a year still feels a little dull compared to the party with
champagne and viognier followed by some cold micro brews and topped off with some
whiskey(you know the party that the disease in me would like to celebrate with)
but hey, my life is sustainable and thriving and that my friends is the pure
gift of this program. The truth
is, I LOVE my Life and the shifts for good that have and continue to occur
within me are undeniable MIRACLE after MIRACLE kind of living. I certainly know that the party might
be fun but as Rita says “my only failure would be to trade what I want the most
for what I want in a moment.” Pray
with me that our collective and individual obsession(masked as a sweet desire)
to use whatever, be completely lifted.
I love you so much I choose your sobriety and mine, today!
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