It’s the dawn of a new day and the silhouettes of the palm
tree’s in the early morning sky, bring a smile to my heart. I’m tired this morning but I’m up to
meet my commitments of writing and heading to a 6:30am yoga class. I got to share “my story” at Betty Ford
last night and it’s amazing how, with time, overall clarity increases. I’m becoming more clear each day about
who I am. I am becoming
increasingly clear about who I am not.
And now, I am beginning the journey of discovering the deeper thought
patterns & belief systems which lead to my emotional sobriety or lack there
of. A few months ago, I identified
the root of emotional hangovers as the result of my character defenses taking
the wheel. The longer I allowed
myself to be run by that character defect the longer and more fierce the
emotional hangover(which oh by the way feels strikingly like a drinking/using
hangover). I don’t know about you,
but I hate hangovers(what a fine waste
of good time and life energy) so this alone continues to be the motivation to
do the work to alleviate and remove the hangovers altogether! It never ceases to amaze me when I hit
another layer of understanding of the Principles offered by the Program…. This
latest understanding is of that of the removal of Character Defects. In order that I might find more freedom in my program, I must first IDENTIFY my character
defects – those ways which I react(to protect my self) to fear as it
arises. The removal of these
character defects gives me the ability to respond – ie response-ability! When I am able to respond instead of
react, I am empowered instead of depleted and bowled over. Yep, this work is definitely for
me. Today, I identify righteousness,
control and impatience as ways to respond
to the fears that I am not good enough and the fear that nothing is going to
work out without my direct hand it(lack of faith) and I ask God to please
remove these that I might experience my true state of humility and faith. Thank you God.
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