I Get to Be Wowed By Life

Here I am God resting your arms, a sweetness that exists because of that choice which I made over and over again to pick up the tools of the program instead of a drink.  I shared this morning as I picked up my two year chip that I believe that my recovery began after the pink cloud drifted away and I once again found myself with the desire to drink.  This time(like no other time before) I picked up the tools of the program instead of that drink.  I upped my meetings, I called my sponsor, I told on myself at meetings… annoyingly, I think I told everyone in the world that I wanted to drink.  For more than two months right around the year mark, I wanted to drink so badly.  Instead I picked up the tools that were suggested.  Between this and the last and most profound amends on my list, I have found a great joy and peace in the program again.  There were two journeys that I was on here.  The first was the journey from the outer edge of the fellowship of AA to the center of the rooms, where life is a sweet as it possibly can be, like a slice of Grandma’s warm apple pie with Haagen Dazz ice cream. The second is the journey of unveiling the “blanket shame” that I believe almost every alcoholic walks through the doors wearing. 

I’m 2!  I can’t believe it!  There were times that I wasn’t sure if I was going to make it to 2 and if I did, I was pretty sure that I would be prime to head back out into the big bad hurly burly of the world of drinking and using.  Not so, God’s Grace is better than I could have ever imagined and I am turning this corner with a great gratitude and renewed conviction and engagement with the 12 step program of recovery… who would have thunk?  Wow, the WOW factor…. By staying sober I get to be Wowed by Life & God.  I get to be WOWED by the possibilities, the unexpected experience of miracles unfolding and unfolding.  I GET to be there for the tough stuff, and I GET to be there for the Sweet Stuff.  There is nothing more precious than being here, I mean REALLY being here, not just the shell of me, ALL of ME… sound mind, body & Spirt To EXPERIENCE ALL OF LIFE.  Happy Birthday Me.  All Praise Be to God, to the fellowship, to my sponsors, to my brothers and sister on the path of the spiritual warrior.  Gratitude fills my every cell today.  I am going to keep coming back and I sincerely hope you do too!