So, as I become more familiar with my character defenses, thanks to Baron Baptiste, my sponsors and anyone I have ever dated…. Which reminds me of something someone said after the meeting this morning, he said “relationships are like putting miracle grow onto my character defects.” Oh my goodness, lol… that’s the funniest thing I have heard in a while and soooo true… so anyways, as I become more familiar or aware of my character defects I am finding that I can now begin to examine them a little more closely. As I do this I am beginning to discover a few things about my little defeses…. A.) they worked for me at some time in my life and I just forgot to take them off when they stopped working, B.) I get to keep em if I want to continue to see through the lense that they create and keep acting them out until I’m ready to heal them, C.) they are sneaky little buggers and can often be visible to everyone but me. So today, I get to pray to be shown those things that I don’t know that I need to know for the full expression of my wholeness. But the question that Baron posed and that I love and one that is not easy to answer IS, what is the payoff that I get from keeping my defenses. For example, what do I get from being Right… besides the fact that being right stimulates the same area of the brain as alcohol and drugs do giving me both the high and the low that they did, it also allows me to be justified in cutting people out of my life and doing things my way. This realization took me several days to arrive upon and only after asking myself, the universe and God what the payoff is that I get from being right. So be gentle with yourself, but take one or two of your character defenses and ask yourself, what is the payoff that you get from living in these ways. Feel free to share with your sponsor, at a meeting or on my page. Together let’s breathe light into those old ways of being and shine a new light as a result. May your sobriety and your practice be deep and rich with inquiry. Love Out!
Wednesday, June 26, 2013
Tuesday, June 25, 2013
Gooood morning sober yogi’s around the globe. Well, I just had quite the sobering experience at the Baptiste Level 1 yoga teacher training in Sedona, AZ. All I can say is “wow.” Ok, so I have more to say on the matter… but still, wow! I did not know what to expect going into the experience and now I am blown away by the incredible gifts that were born in a week packed full of emotional, spiritual and physical growth. Our schedule looked a little something like this, 6:45am – breakfast, 8:30am – meditation for an hour or two, 10ish-yoga for 3-4 hours, 1:30ish – lunch, 3ish – “chair session”, 5:00ish – snack, 6:00ish - 2-3 hours of yoga, 9pm – dinner, 10:30 – chair session, 12:30-1am’ish – bedtime(phew)! I’m amazed first of all that this girl who likes to be in bed no later than 9pm had the capacity to endure and eventually thrive on such a schedule. The fact is we were eating clean and living clean and it’s amazing how much energy is freed up to flow, hint hint(**if you’re passed the stages of early sobriety where anything goes – perhaps now is the time to start to court the idea of eating and living clean ;) More importantly, we were exploring our boundaries and pushing passed them. In this way, we were discovering new possibility in our life. How often do we cruise through life uninterested in going anywhere near the edge of our comfort zone and therefore unengaged with new possibility? Baron Baptiste(world famous yoga teacher, leader, and writer) was secretly dedicated to, sometimes gently and sometimes not so gently, nudging us toward the discovery of the blind spots within our consciousness, otherwise known as the places that we play small. It became apparent very quickly that he was dedicated to creating crisis(which simply means crossroads) for us, so that we would have the opportunity to turn a breakdown into a breakthrough. Let me tell you, I discovered a few…in fact I have a whole new list of step 6 character defenses – 1.) the need to be right 2.) the need to know & charmingly, 3.) the concern for looking good. I am aware of these now and each time they arise I take the opportunity to let them go. This is a truly liberating process of revelation and recovery. In the coming days I will share more in depth the details, revelations and breakthroughs of my experience at this life changing training. For now though, I want to encourage you to develop the awareness that any breakdown that is happening in your life has by it’s nature, the potential for a breakthrough. If you’re in the rare experience of cruising along without a single breakdown in your life, then chose a place where you feel stuck in your life and commit yourself to a breakthrough in this area. In the next week, we will explore this process. Happy Breakthrough’s today yogi’s, on and off your mat! Big Love! A