So, as I become more familiar with my character defenses, thanks to Baron Baptiste, my sponsors and anyone I have ever dated…. Which reminds me of something someone said after the meeting this morning, he said “relationships are like putting miracle grow onto my character defects.” Oh my goodness, lol… that’s the funniest thing I have heard in a while and soooo true… so anyways, as I become more familiar or aware of my character defects I am finding that I can now begin to examine them a little more closely. As I do this I am beginning to discover a few things about my little defeses…. A.) they worked for me at some time in my life and I just forgot to take them off when they stopped working, B.) I get to keep em if I want to continue to see through the lense that they create and keep acting them out until I’m ready to heal them, C.) they are sneaky little buggers and can often be visible to everyone but me. So today, I get to pray to be shown those things that I don’t know that I need to know for the full expression of my wholeness. But the question that Baron posed and that I love and one that is not easy to answer IS, what is the payoff that I get from keeping my defenses. For example, what do I get from being Right… besides the fact that being right stimulates the same area of the brain as alcohol and drugs do giving me both the high and the low that they did, it also allows me to be justified in cutting people out of my life and doing things my way. This realization took me several days to arrive upon and only after asking myself, the universe and God what the payoff is that I get from being right. So be gentle with yourself, but take one or two of your character defenses and ask yourself, what is the payoff that you get from living in these ways. Feel free to share with your sponsor, at a meeting or on my page. Together let’s breathe light into those old ways of being and shine a new light as a result. May your sobriety and your practice be deep and rich with inquiry. Love Out!