So, as I become more familiar with my character defenses,
thanks to Baron Baptiste, my sponsors and anyone I have ever dated…. Which
reminds me of something someone said after the meeting this morning, he said
“relationships are like putting miracle grow onto my character defects.” Oh my goodness, lol… that’s the
funniest thing I have heard in a while and soooo true… so anyways, as I become
more familiar or aware of my character
defects I am finding that I can now begin to examine them a little more
closely. As I do this I am
beginning to discover a few things about my little defeses…. A.) they worked for
me at some time in my life and I just forgot to take them off when they stopped
working, B.) I get to keep em if I
want to continue to see through the lense that they create and keep acting them
out until I’m ready to heal them, C.) they are sneaky little buggers and can
often be visible to everyone but me.
So today, I get to pray to be shown those things that I don’t know that
I need to know for the full expression of my wholeness. But the question that Baron posed and
that I love and one that is not easy to answer IS, what is the payoff that I
get from keeping my defenses. For
example, what do I get from being Right… besides the fact that being right
stimulates the same area of the brain as alcohol and drugs do giving me both
the high and the low that they did, it also allows me to be justified in
cutting people out of my life and doing things my way. This realization took me several days
to arrive upon and only after asking myself, the universe and God what the
payoff is that I get from being right.
So be gentle with yourself, but take one or two of your character
defenses and ask yourself, what is the payoff that you get from living in these
ways. Feel free to share with your
sponsor, at a meeting or on my page.
Together let’s breathe light into those old ways of being and shine a
new light as a result. May your
sobriety and your practice be deep and rich with inquiry. Love Out!
Thank you! I am 13 days Sober, and breathing in light is exactly what I need to do! May you gain depth in your practice and continue to shed light in the world and those beyond! OM
ReplyDeleteIt's all just one day at a time. Soberiety works if you work it,
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