So, as I become more familiar with my character defenses,
thanks to Baron Baptiste, my sponsors and anyone I have ever dated…. Which
reminds me of something someone said after the meeting this morning, he said
“relationships are like putting miracle grow onto my character defects.” Oh my goodness, lol… that’s the
funniest thing I have heard in a while and soooo true… so anyways, as I become
more familiar or aware of my character
defects I am finding that I can now begin to examine them a little more
closely. As I do this I am
beginning to discover a few things about my little defeses…. A.) they worked for
me at some time in my life and I just forgot to take them off when they stopped
working, B.) I get to keep em if I
want to continue to see through the lense that they create and keep acting them
out until I’m ready to heal them, C.) they are sneaky little buggers and can
often be visible to everyone but me.
So today, I get to pray to be shown those things that I don’t know that
I need to know for the full expression of my wholeness. But the question that Baron posed and
that I love and one that is not easy to answer IS, what is the payoff that I
get from keeping my defenses. For
example, what do I get from being Right… besides the fact that being right
stimulates the same area of the brain as alcohol and drugs do giving me both
the high and the low that they did, it also allows me to be justified in
cutting people out of my life and doing things my way. This realization took me several days
to arrive upon and only after asking myself, the universe and God what the
payoff is that I get from being right.
So be gentle with yourself, but take one or two of your character
defenses and ask yourself, what is the payoff that you get from living in these
ways. Feel free to share with your
sponsor, at a meeting or on my page.
Together let’s breathe light into those old ways of being and shine a
new light as a result. May your
sobriety and your practice be deep and rich with inquiry. Love Out!
Wednesday, June 26, 2013
Breathe Light Into the Old & Be Transformed
Tuesday, June 25, 2013
Turn Breakdowns Into Breakthroughs
Gooood morning sober yogi’s around the globe. Well, I just had quite the sobering
experience at the Baptiste Level 1 yoga teacher training in Sedona, AZ. All I can say is “wow.” Ok, so I have more to say on the
matter… but still, wow! I did not
know what to expect going into the experience and now I am blown away by the
incredible gifts that were born in a week packed full of emotional, spiritual
and physical growth. Our schedule
looked a little something like this, 6:45am – breakfast, 8:30am – meditation
for an hour or two, 10ish-yoga for 3-4 hours, 1:30ish – lunch, 3ish – “chair
session”, 5:00ish – snack, 6:00ish - 2-3 hours of yoga, 9pm – dinner, 10:30 –
chair session, 12:30-1am’ish – bedtime(phew)! I’m amazed first of all that this girl who likes to be in
bed no later than 9pm had the capacity to endure and eventually thrive on such
a schedule. The fact is we were
eating clean and living clean and it’s amazing how much energy is freed up to
flow, hint hint(**if you’re passed the stages of early sobriety where anything
goes – perhaps now is the time to start to court the idea of eating and living
clean ;) More importantly, we were exploring our boundaries and pushing passed
them. In this way, we were
discovering new possibility in our life.
How often do we cruise through life uninterested in going anywhere near
the edge of our comfort zone and therefore unengaged with new possibility? Baron Baptiste(world famous yoga
teacher, leader, and writer) was secretly dedicated to, sometimes gently and
sometimes not so gently, nudging
us toward the discovery of the blind spots within our consciousness,
otherwise known as the places that we play small. It became apparent very quickly that he was dedicated to
creating crisis(which simply means crossroads) for us, so that we would have
the opportunity to turn a breakdown into a breakthrough. Let me tell you, I discovered a
few…in fact I have a whole new list of step 6 character defenses – 1.) the
need to be right 2.) the need to know & charmingly, 3.) the concern for
looking good. I am aware of these now and each time they arise I take the
opportunity to let them go. This
is a truly liberating process of revelation and recovery. In the coming days I
will share more in depth the details, revelations and breakthroughs of my
experience at this life changing training. For now though, I want to encourage you to develop the
awareness that any breakdown that is happening in your life has by it’s
nature, the potential for a
breakthrough. If you’re in the rare experience of cruising along without a
single breakdown in your life, then chose a place where you feel stuck in your
life and commit yourself to a breakthrough in this area. In the next week, we will explore this
process. Happy Breakthrough’s
today yogi’s, on and off your mat!
Big Love! A
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