9th Step has Promises for A Reason - Keep Going

Yesss – there is a reason that the 9^th step has promises – isn’t there?  I’m in the midst of my 9^th step and my excuses of business has seen it’s day.  More deeply than ever I am sensing in my depths that there is a link between the stuff that is hiding deep down inside of me that the 9^th step is intended to heal and my prosperity is awaiting the clear reflection of right alignment that comes as a result.  I’ve been so busy fooling myself all of these years with false pride but when it comes down to really knowing what I believe at my core, one may look to my life to find out – I spoke of this on Sunday at our service.  As vulnerable as this feels to put it out there, I know that I must, in faith that there will be another chapter to the story to share with you if I am honest about this stage of my journey -  a chapter which reflects great financial abundance and prosperity in my life and as my life.  There must be some part of me which really believes that “I am not good enough to be supported freely and consistently” because that is what continues to reflect in my world.  I know that God does not punish but that I have the capacity to punish myself through holding a belief, which is absolutely creative and operative in my life.  These beliefs could very well have been adopted from all of the “bad stuff” that I was up to in my addiction.  I think I am harder on myself that almost anyone I have ever met and I have to remember that we all make mistakes and addiction has a particularly messy and destructive nature to it.  Living my amends is the most powerful restitution for the damage caused but getting in there and making amends whereby not only is it possible that others will forgive me but more importantly that I forgive myself.  You see my inner self critic or as Julia Cameron calls her “my Censor” has rich and fertile soil to grow and live in the “stuff” that happened in my life around my disease.  The 9^th step is about clearing this so that my inner Critic can just relax already.  Eventually as I continue to work these steps I hope to see my inner critic fade into the nothingness from whence it came and to feel the abundant nature of my soul expressed in my attitudes of being more than enough for the fact that I am a Divine emanation of “the One” as is each and every soul on this planet.  Beliefs rooted in Truth unlike the false beliefs I picked up in my addiction have nothing to do but shine health into every area of my life including my financial health and well-being.  Today, I pursue the next section of my 9^th step with vigor for I am ready for, accept and expect my freedom.  I liken this experience to standing at the door knocking, expecting the door to be opened and the God of my soul to welcome me home to the Truth of my being which has never changed – I just temporarily forgot.  Thank you 9^th step for being the roadmap for remembering the Truth about me.