Saturday, May 5, 2012

Fine Lines Between Mine and Thine


Where do you find that balance between focus and surrender?  It’s as sweet spot indeed and one to be cultivated.  I have been thinking a lot about this as I journey through what seems to be a time of both lightness and dark.  Through my addiction and simply as a person who lives in this world which often lacks balance I have found myself either just plain down and out or, on the other end of the spectrum - blissed out. I seem to be dancing somewhere in the middle and although I would rather be walking around blessed out…this is my lot and I am in the work of dedicating myself to the revelation of purity and clarity in my soul….I have come to understand that there are valley’s and peaks on this journey….thank God for the diversity for without one I could not experience the true gifts of the other.

 I have studied and practiced in schools of thought which say that we are responsible for all of it – everything… and I have practiced with others in well established and successful spiritual programs whose primary principle is “thy will be done.”  I somehow think that this being human is a forum for a balance of both.  The one thing I know for sure that is common among all spiritual programs that resonate with me, is that the place where the work is done is within…inside of ourselves….in consciousness.  This is contradictory to the quick fix, “outside in” paradigm that the majority of people subscribe to.  Our dominant beliefs and thoughts manifest in and as our world… I know this…. I have seen it for myself in my own prayer work.  The loophole with this paradigm is that I find myself “manifesting” things that I don’t want and having to create something new in consciousness.   This is fine and well but can be pretty exhausting sometimes and quite honestly all of the fluff is not all it’s cut out to be.  I’ve gotten the relationship, the car, the job and after a few weeks of enjoying them thoroughly I find myself re-aquainted with the feeling that there has got to be more than this.  The only thing truly fulfilling is the inside out expression of my connection with the whole and finding perfect avenues of the service of my soul to others.  So I flip back to my prayers of “thy will be done.”  But truly there has got to be a balance between the co-creative process we use to “stabilize the systems” of our life and the surrender of “thy will be done.”  Today I am dancing and playing with this balance and these ideas.  For now my prayer is “thy will and my will be one will BUT/AND when there is a discrepancy.. please God, thy will be done!”  I remain focused on the Divine Purpose burning in my soul and befriend it, become intimate with it without crossing the line of being obsessed with it(if however it is a choice between being obsessed with it(my soul’s purpose) and not being familiar with it at all then I chose obsession with Divinity within me) AND I release the How and the When turning those over completely to Divine Intelligence which is Pure Unconditional Love(a principle, a feeling, a concept which I can only court in awe with a pure knowing that I will never from my finite mind begin to fathom the Infinite nature of Love) which is everywhere present and all knowing…. I think God is a better captain for the sea’s of my life.   

No comments:

Post a Comment