Where do you find that balance between focus and
surrender? It’s as sweet spot
indeed and one to be cultivated. I
have been thinking a lot about this as I journey through what seems to be a
time of both lightness and dark.
Through my addiction and simply as a person who lives in this world
which often lacks balance I have found myself either just plain down and out
or, on the other end of the spectrum - blissed out. I seem to be dancing
somewhere in the middle and although I would rather be walking around blessed
out…this is my lot and I am in the work of dedicating myself to the revelation
of purity and clarity in my soul….I have come to understand that there are valley’s
and peaks on this journey….thank God for the diversity for without one I could
not experience the true gifts of the other.
I have studied
and practiced in schools of thought which say that we are responsible for all
of it – everything… and I have practiced
with others in well established and successful spiritual programs whose primary
principle is “thy will be done.” I
somehow think that this being human is a forum for a balance of both. The one thing I know for sure that is
common among all spiritual programs that resonate with me, is that the place
where the work is done is within…inside
of ourselves….in consciousness.
This is contradictory to the quick fix, “outside in” paradigm that the
majority of people subscribe to.
Our dominant beliefs and thoughts manifest in and as our world… I know
this…. I have seen it for myself in my own prayer work. The loophole with this paradigm is that
I find myself “manifesting” things that I don’t want and having to create
something new in consciousness.
This is fine and well but can be pretty exhausting sometimes and quite
honestly all of the fluff is not all it’s cut out to be. I’ve gotten the relationship, the car,
the job and after a few weeks of enjoying them thoroughly I find myself
re-aquainted with the feeling that there has got to be more than this. The only thing truly fulfilling is the
inside out expression of my connection with the whole and finding perfect
avenues of the service of my soul to others. So I flip back to my prayers of “thy will be done.” But truly there has got to be a balance
between the co-creative process we use to “stabilize the systems” of our life
and the surrender of “thy will be done.”
Today I am dancing and playing with this balance and these ideas. For now my prayer is “thy will and my
will be one will BUT/AND when there is a discrepancy.. please God, thy will be
done!” I remain focused on the
Divine Purpose burning in my soul and befriend it, become intimate with it
without crossing the line of being obsessed with it(if however it is a choice
between being obsessed with it(my soul’s purpose) and not being familiar with
it at all then I chose obsession with Divinity within me) AND I release the How
and the When turning those over completely to Divine Intelligence which is Pure
Unconditional Love(a principle, a feeling, a concept which I can only court in
awe with a pure knowing that I will never from my finite mind begin to fathom
the Infinite nature of Love) which is everywhere present and all knowing…. I
think God is a better captain for the sea’s of my life.
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